Saturday, March 14, 2015

See The Couple That Don't Have Sex

lovingyou
In the one and a half years they have been married Andrew and Erica Holloway have never argued, have no secrets and are more in love today than the moment they met.
Yet incredibly this Melbourne-based couple, both aged 30, have never consummated their marriage – and Erica admits that she has no intention of ever doing so.
For while Andrew would love to rip his wife’s clothes off, Erica is in fact still a virgin and reveals to the Daily Mail Online that the very idea of making love to her husband is a complete turn off rather than a turn on.
269D68A700000578-0-image-m-31_1426267257028‘I wish I wanted to have sex with my husband,’ Erica, a graphic designer, explains.
‘But I don’t and I know I never will as, while I love him, the idea of sex repulses me.
‘We are still very affectionate with each other and love to hold hands and kiss and cuddle, but that’s as far as I could ever go.
‘People might think our marriage would be a disaster because of this, but we are as happy now as the day we met.’
Erica has known since the tender age of 15 that she was asexual – after realizing that she had never felt sexually attracted to anyone.
And despite trying to force herself to feel some kind of sexual desire towards a few men in her late teens, she admits that she failed to ever feel the kind of connection that so many of her peers seemed to experience
At this point, Erica had almost given up on ever finding love, as, perhaps unsurprisingly, most men she met ran a mile when she told them about her total aversion to sex.
‘It was such a frustrating period of my life as I knew I was different, I just didn’t know why,’ she recalls.
‘All my friends were experimenting with boyfriends, yet when I even kissed a boy, it just left me cold.
‘I still wanted the companionship you get from a partner, I just didn’t want the sex side and I worried I would never ever find anyone who would be prepared to love and accept me the way I am.’
But in 2002, Erica’s world changed when she met Andrew, while the pair were both living in Melbourne. She admits that she felt as though she had finally met a man who did love her just the way she was.
And after first living as housemates, the pair became an official couple in 2009 after Andrew moved to Canada and the duo realized that they couldn’t bear to be apart from one another.
They were married on October 27th 2012.269D688900000578-0-image-a-32_1426267713382‘I was very honest with Andrew and didn’t think for a moment we would ever be anything more than friends, ‘ Erica says.
‘But when he emigrated to Canada in 2008, I think we both realized how much we missed each other and have never looked back since.
‘We just connect on every level, apart from sexually, and are each others soul mates. Neither of us has ever wanted a family, so that helps too.
‘We are the perfect couple, we just don’t have sex.’
Yet Andrew admits it was not easy to come to terms with sharing his life with a woman who had no desire to share his bed and he even had second thoughts about asking her to be his wife.
‘I loved Erica from the moment I met her and back then naively thought I would one day convince her to fancy me,’ the IT manager explains.
‘But over time while our love has grown, Erica’s aversion to sex has not once waivered and it has not been easy for me to deal with.
‘She is the one woman I dream of having sex with, yet I know I never will and that has been sad.
‘And there was a period when I did question whether if I asked her to marry me it could ever work.
‘But every time I thought about ending it, I knew I could not live without her in my life.
‘If I didn’t love her as much as I do it would never have lasted, but we are still hopelessly in love in spite of our lack of intimacy.
‘On our wedding night I longed to make love to her, but I couldn't and that did cause us both pain.
‘But over time we have made this situation work as I would rather share my life with Erica with no sex than not at all.’
The couple reveal that, in order to make their relationship work, they now have an open marriage, whereby Erica not only turns a blind eye to Andrew having sex with other women, she has also been the driving force behind his flings.
And to date he has slept with ten other women.
‘Just because I don’t want sex, I understand Andrew does, so we sought help from a sex counselor who came up with the suggestion he takes lovers and it seemed the perfect solution for us,’ Erica says.
‘Jealousy is never a factor as I’m just relieved Andrew is having sex; I feel guilty it can’t be with me.
‘It’s not that often, but when he feels the desire, he either calls an escort or maybe a woman who he has met on the Internet and goes to see them.
‘I just wave him off and tell him to have a good time and I absolutely mean it.
‘We never discuss what he has got up to, but I know by the huge smile on his face when he comes through the door he has had a good time and that makes me happy.’
It is an unconventional marital set up that Andrew admits has been harder for him to get used to than Erica.
‘When I got married I never once thought I would be cheating on my wife and I still struggle with it as it just seems like a betrayal of our vows,’ he explains.
‘But over time it is getting easier and it does take the pressure off Erica.
‘Of course I would rather be having sex with her, but if I can’t then this seems like the best solution as it is the only thing missing in my life and marriage.’
Indeed, so comfortable is Erica with Andrew having sex with other women, the she admits she is even trying to find her husband a permanent live-in lover.
She explained: ‘I think that would be the dream situation, as that way Andrew doesn’t even need to leave our home to have sex.
‘But finding someone we both like enough to share our home with is no easy task and to date we have been unsuccessful.
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‘Our dream scenario is to find someone we both really enjoy the company of who would live in our spare room and be an integral part of our family who can also enjoy an intimate relationship with Andrew.’
Andrew added: ‘We know we don’t have a conventional marriage, but Erica and I are 100 per cent happy and it works for us.
‘We just feel lucky to have even found each other so if the only thing missing is sex, then I still think we have more than what most people will ever have in their marriage.’

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